My Mother's last days - Son Tim's perspective

We were notified by my sister Connie last Sunday that my mother fell and broke her hip last Saturday (Aug. 8) in her room in Assisted Living at the Quarryville Presbyterian Retirement Community. My sisters Connie & Claudia took turns staying with her in the hospital until surgery was finally scheduled and took place on Monday. Getting the surgery scheduled required intervention by Claudia at the suggestion of Connie.

We left on Wed. morning and Sat stayed overnight with Mother on Wed. night. On Thurs. Mother was transferred back to her retirement home and placed in Skilled Nursing Care. Sat and I were thankful we were there to participate in the care given to our frail mother.

On Friday, Sat tried to feed some lunch to my Mother. She kept losing consciousness and could not swallow the very small amount of applesauce placed in her mouth. I realized that she could no longer eat and asked that hospice care be brought in. The earliest they could begin was Saturday at noon. My two sisters Claudia and Connie, and Connie's husband Glenn came Friday evening. Mark and Sandy Brice stopped in too. Mother recognized Mark (her grandson) and was glad to meet Sandy (who had just married Mark 3 weeks earlier.)

My brother Raymond came to visit Mother at about 11:30pm Friday night. She had no visual or oral expression, but Raymond felt her squeeze his hand. We left Mother sometime after mid-night. Sat and I stayed in her room in the assisted living section, which had only a very narrow single bed. Sat insisted on sleeping on the floor so I could be comfortable.

At 9:30 am on Saturday, Sat and I went down to see Mother. We were stopped at the nurses’ station and told that Mother had just developed an acute breathing difficulty from fluid in her lungs and were asked if we wanted her hospitalized. I said no. We proceeded to her room where she was gasping for breath, even with an oxygen mask and a high level of oxygen flow. This continued for about 45 more minutes (probably about an hour in total) and Sat and I held her hand and stroked her head as she finally took her last breaths and was released from her earthly struggles.

My last words to her were “Your children love you! And this is what you wanted.” Just as I said this, at about 10:20 am August 15, 2009, her fighting for breath ceased and a few gentle breaths later she was gone to the arms of her loving Heavenly Father.

My sister Meredith had decided on Friday to come immediately and was able to get a flight from Houston for herself and her husband Ralph that arrived at 11:30 am. She received a phone call from her daughter as she landed that the end had come. I asked the nursing staff to leave Mother in her room until Meredith and Ralph could arrive. We had a few moments together in her room and then left.

Sat and I met with the funeral home director at 8:00am Sunday morning and arranged for a burial for 1:00pm on Monday afternoon. Ralph led the burial service which included my Uncle Ed and Aunt Bea Kraftson (my father’s brother and his wife). We also had Ariana (daughter of Nathanael and Ana Brice) as a representative of Mother’s 9 great-grand children. All four generations of those living were thus represented. We plan to have a memorial service on September 5th for the much larger group of those who knew my Mother and wish to share in the celebration of her life and legacy.