Mother's last week by Connie McDowell

On Saturday night, August 8th, 2009, around 10:30pm, my mother, Elisabeth Kraftson, fell in her room in the Assisted Living section of Quarryville Presbyterian Retirement Community. Her leg gave out. She had been so frail, and growing weaker steadily over the past months. Thankfully she was wearing a call button around her neck so was able to alert the nearby nurse. The nurses called an ambulance which took her to Lancaster General Hospital. They discovered she’d had a hip fracture which could only be repaired by surgery, so she was admitted.

I drove to the hospital after being notified by Quarryville of ths situation, arriving about 2am. I was able to stay with Mom in her private hospital room. Mom looked so frail but she smiled so sweetly at me and was glad I was there.

An orthopedic surgeon arrived around 7am to see Mom to explain the surgery required to repair the fracture – 2 permanent screws to hold the bone together.

I stayed with her until around 3pm Sunday. We had a very sweet time together. Mother was so dear & precious. My brother Randy was able to stop by Quarryville in the morning and bring a few necessities for Mom. Claudia arrived home from a week in Orlando Sunday morning. She arrived at the hospital around 5pm and stayed with Mom round the clock until late Tuesday evening.

Sunday came and went, we kept waiting for Mom to be taken to surgery but it didn’t happen. All this time, our poor Mother, who weighs in the low 80’s, couldn’t eat or drink, and had to lie in one position, on her back. We could swab her mouth with water which we did often. Monday morning they didn’t call her to surgery and couldn’t provide an O.R. time. Around 1pm, Claudia (and Mother) were very concerned that nothing was scheduled. She went to the Hospital Administration office and explained the situation to a Patient Advocate. Thankfully, within about 10 minutes, Mother was taken to the OR.

I was so thankful for Claudia’s teamwork so I could attend an important annual customer meeting. And Claudia was very thankful that Tim and Sat were able to come out to relieve her. We all felt that spending time with Mom was a huge privilege, not a burden, and we were all sorry we couldn't be with her more.

Mom was very aware and ‘with it’ during the entire ordeal. She did say a few funny things while under the influence of strong pain medication. She told Claudia she was going to rob Peter to pay Paul. When Claudia asked, 'What can I do to help you, Mom?', she replied, 'Pay Paul!'

I visited Mom again Wednesday evening. I was able to feed her a little bit. I kissed her and held her hand and she fell asleep; I like to think that it helped her feel better just having my presence nearby.

My brother Tim & his wife Sat arrived around 8pm, so we were there about an hour together. Sat stayed in the room with Mom. Mother was discharged Thursday by ambulance to the convalescent (skilled nursing) unit at Quarryville. She was so frail and pathetic (in a sweet way). She was not strong enough to even ring for the nurse.

Tim and Sat have a particular knack for showing up at the right time and providing incredibly practical and helpful support to Mom which we appreciate so much. It was so wonderful that they supported her through the transition back to Quarryville and then through her transition from this life to the next.

Claudia & I visited her Thursday and Friday after work, and were there with Tim and Sat. Glenn came as well on Friday evening. We sang to Mother and cried and laughed with her. She could not eat or drink, or speak much, only whisper a few words and smile. But she was not in great pain and went in and out of consciousness. When she was awake she comprehended what was going on around her and responded. She would wake up for a couple of minutes then fade out for awhile.

Friday evening, Mother was delighted to see the newlyweds, Mark & Sandy Brice, for a brief visit around 9pm. She brightened up visibly and even managed to say a few words to them. It was especially poignant since she'd been unable to attend their wedding three weeks prior.

Saturday morning, as in the prior few days, Mother continued to fail fast. Her breathing was labored. Tim and Sat were with her during her last hours and cared lovingly for her with the help of the compassionate nurse, as Mother took her last breath around 10am. She died on the birthday of her youngest and beloved daughter Claudia.

Glenn, Shelby and I picked up my sister Meredith Stone and her husband Ralph who had quickly arranged the previous evening, to fly up from Houston. We arrived at Quarryville around 1:30pm. They were able to see Mother's body before it was taken away for burial. We were so comforted by being together with our siblings at this time.

Throughout Mother's last months of steady weakening, she has been sweet and dear, so glad to be with us and speak with us by phone, thankful and loving and brave. She persevered and showed the continued grace and peace of Jesus Christ. Especially in the last week, she was not anxious about her future, but lived ‘in the moment’, one day at a time.

She memorized this passage – Romans 11:33-36 not long ago and appreciated having it read to her a couple of times.
Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?
Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be glory forever.
Amen.

We rejoice that Mom’s sufferings have ended and that she is in the presence of her Savior! But oh how we’ll miss her.